year two, finale part three (june – grad) | video

and it’s done. all of it, everything – done.

school is out forever, and i don’t know what to do with myself…what to feel…what to think…how to adult…? living the grad school life in portland had been the new normal for the past 21 months, and now it’ll be the past. it’s been one of the hardest years of my life, but one of the most rewarding.
i now have added letters after my name: M.S., CF-SLP

God has been so good to me here (or should i say there, since i’m technically not in pdx right now), and the experience i’ve had and the people i’ve met during that time is proof of that (i will most likely go on about this in a later post).

we just finished dinner and got to our hotel here in ashland, which is right before the oregon/california state line.

our hotel room has this quaint, little corner with the most comfortable dusty blue chairs, which is where i’m currently seated as i write this. it has a good view of the entire room, and i’m just trying to take everything in, this moment, yesterday’s moment, this entire 21 months’ moment. there’s so much i want to say (as if you didn’t guess that already), but if i said it all, i would have written an entire book with footnotes, pictures, and diagrams.

i don’t think this last post re: my last “month” here in portland will cut it; i don’t feel like it’s something i can devote one single post to. it is something i’ll constantly think about, which will most likely reflect in what i write about in the next posts.

this video turned out nicely! not as organized as i’d like, but i really enjoyed purposely filming bits and pieces of each day. it’s so easy to forget, especially when you want to be in the moment – or when you’re already in the moment – and you forget to film. but! i did what i could, because i knew that i would treasure this video greatly. a lot has happened during my time here in the PNW, and here is just the last 17 days as a graduate student.
i don’t even feel that this post is doing what-i-feel-about-what-this-post-should-be any justice, but i am truly out of words. i’ll let it flow out of me as time goes.

one thing i do want to note, though, is that the biggest change that will happen is not necessarily school, but not seeing nicole anymore! through this entire process and experience, i feel that our hearts have begun to beat as one. having her as a roommate, classmate, and sister in Christ, i truly believe that my heart has made a space and place just for her.

i love this sconnie. wishing you the best, coley! sending all my love from OR/CA.

…and here’s the video! i’ve been watching it from the beginning every single time i edit this, so that’s a minimum of 17 times. i just watched it after i finished editing it, and i can’t believe that this is the last of my portland days. it’s all still so familiar to me, as it was yesterday, and i’m so afraid of having it become more distant and distant with each passing day. but i will be back. and until then, i have these memories to hold me over. if only you could smell the air and taste the food. but these visuals will have to do. for now 🙂

x
j